The Fake Weed Tester

The last PA job I had before moving into the Audio Department, I was on a feature in south Florida.  One day, we were shooting a house party scene where we had four actors getting high on the couch. While we were looking at all of the different kinds of fake weed the director had purchased, one of the actresses somehow talked me into trying them all to see which one was less harsh on the throat. If you asked me ten years ago if I would be making a living testing fake weed for a overly sensitive actress, I would have laughed in your face.

After trying all of them, not only did I feel light headed, but I got a massive headache that would not go away. I did, actually, feel worse for the actors who had to smoke this crap for 3 hours while they were shooting the scene.

The Dress

Mrs. Portman is not the actress in the story. I just like this picture.

I still actually have to ask myself if this really happened to me. And none of my friends believe it. One day, as part of the AD team, I was designated to babysit our lead actress for the day. I won't give you her name, but I'll say that she is probably near the top of most guys' lists of actresses they are allowed to cheat on their wives with. She was hot. Like unbelievably hot. And I was getting paid to spend the whole day with her.

When I arrived at her trailer to introduce myself, some of her entourage was hanging around outside smoking. I said hello, and asked if she was inside. One of the guys said she was changing and would be out in a minute. I waited a few minutes and knocked. She told me to come in. I wasn't at all prepared for what happened next. I opened the door and stepped inside, to see her half dressed with the whole back side of her dress open. I apologized and backed up, trying to get out of there and save both of us some embarrassment (but mostly me). She laughed and told me it was ok. Then, she asked me to help zip up her dress. It was like a scene out of some ridiculous romantic comedy. Awkward PA zipping up beautiful actress' dress. And I'm pretty sure I heard music playing when I did it.

She was totally cool with it, whereas I was pretty much losing my mind. I at least pretended to be professional, so we could move on with our day. It was a great day, but that one moment will stick with me for life.